Monday, January 10, 2011

You stay classy, Cincinnati


Hello all! I've been hiding Anne Frank style, sorry to disappoint the loyal followers.
With this new year beginning, I am excited to embark on a new jazzy journey. What we have here, in the picture above, is your typical Jazzy hoe. First of all... did you use an air brush to apply your blush? Im not sure what look you are trying to portray with that one... but the impression I get is that you are in a constant state of embarrassment with those rosey cheeks. Whats with the zebra print dress? It reminds me of a design of something an old lady would wear who lives in a retirement community called "sun city" and who can be found in the vegas casinos playing slots for hours on end and drinking cheap cocktails. And for whatever reason this may be... that vision also triggers a a god awful stench for me. You know... some of that perfume that smells like bug spray. I understand you're trying to wear the red belt as an accessory... but REALLY? On a dress? Referring back to the old lady... im assuming your wearing it above your waistline to hold up you boobs. The hair fascinates me... its like a gruesome car wreck that I just cant seem to divert my eyes from. Im pretty sure Kelly Kapowski had that same hair style back in the 90's. I'm not sure where you are headed... but I'm assuming you won't be getting very far. You're sipping champagne with a straw and wearing shoes that i'm pretty sure you stole from a stripper.

SO... here's an Ode to you, miss 513. You stay classy now.

*Special thanks to Jenny and Michelle for this photo!!!