Flags and Kittens

Well hello, loyal fans and blog readers! Jazzy Jill here with an update..finally!!

This Jazzy gem is sport a floral headband, "Merry Christmas" cat sweatshirt (that may or may not have been in my closet), a sporty fanny pack, and to top it all of, posed next to the American flag.

Give it up for Jazzy Jordan! I think this may be our best find yet...

Im not sure whether to laugh or be mortified.

Linds here with an update in Jazzfest 2010. Its been awhile since ive updated.. my apologies to the loyal viewers. :) As you SHOULD know... and if you don't take mental note... I really don't think there's anyone i've ever hated more than Mr. Satchell ass himself... the EPITOMY of all that is satchel... Mr. (correction) MRS. Kobe Bryant. I could go off on a tangent for 37 hours and explain to you why i think he is an ass clown of the human race. But to put it nicely... i think he is just a waste of a life. A shout out to my buddy J.R. for guiding me in the right direction to taunt him even more. Just when I though i couldn't expand anymore on how he is a jerk.. whining baby with no class or sportsmanship.. and really a liar and in all honesty probably a joke of a husband who smacks his wife around cause he likes to have power... i was wrong. I have been enlightened. Apparently he doesnt make enough millions playing in the NBA so he is taking up modeling. However.. im confused. I thought you were supposed to be attractive to be a model? Am I not supposed to enjoy gazing at you and have a genuine appreciation of how attractive you are? What the eff is the world coming to when you take photo's of kobe.. and his freakishly misshaped National geographic status misshapen head and expect people to enjoy it... let alone make him where ALL WHITE clothing... odd clothing at that... and The general population is supposed to like it? Im sorry.. it does not entertain me.. it is not appealing... personally my eyes were quite offended and im thinking about writing a letter to the photographer and magazine for wasting that moment in my life that i had to look at the crapfest presented in front of me. Im offended.. i really am. Honestly... I dont need to say anymore. The pictures completley speak for themselves. I HAD to share. Misery loves company and if you'll excuse me ive been up-chucking for the past half hour sense seeing them. If you LIKE what you see.. then im going to have to ask you to get the hell off my website and seek counseling. There is obviously something seriously wrong with you and you should not be in public until you get treatment. If treatment doesnt work.. or even if it does but u relapse and once again enjoy the pictures.. then seriously just go do yourself a favor.. and a favor for me as well and put a bullet in your brain... or lack thereof.

The EPITOMY OF THE JAZZY HOE

Why hello loyal Jazzyyyyy followers. Lindsey here: the creator and founder of the Jazzy Hoe blog. My co-creator, Jill has been playing secretary for me and been doing a better job at keeping you all updated with the jazzyness that is out there lurking... But thanks to my kick ass Mamacita, Paula... i have in my hands what i think could be the jazziest picture we have yet had submitted. This was taken by the fam house in Vegas.. and you know, its not the completley backless top that makes the jazzy... nor the spandex, weave, or heals. Focus people. Look at this womans tooshy. I understand everyone is created differently and some of us have disadvantages or defects... but WHY IN THE HELL IS HER BUTT SO MISPROPORTIONED?! its mind boggeling. i know this isnt her real butt. what was she trying to accomplish? Ive heard of stuffing your bra, but i cant say ive known anyone to stuff underpants. And not to sound racial but im pretty sure ive never seen an african american woman who was lacking on the "apple bottom" department. My hat is off to you, miss SATCHEL ASS jazzy hoe.. for i cant say i would have the cahonas to go in public like that. Seriously... GET CONTROL. How are you unaware of how ridiculous you look?? Your mother now goes to AA and wakes up to Jim, Jack, and the Captain on the daily. Shame. Shame i say!!!!

Jazzy Nugget Fans

I was privileged enough to be on the back row at the Jazz game sitting next to these Nugget fans. They weren't dressed in Jazz apparel, but they sure were Jazzy!

ummmm....it's me

Okay folks, here we have the jazziest hoe on earth (the one in the red). Me.

After a few people telling me how mean I was for making this blog I decided that instead of discontinuing the blog or ignoring the comments, I would just post myself sometimes, too.

Check out our awesome sweaters and cute hair and stuff. Yeah....that's me alright. Jazzy Hoe for life!

love, Jazzy Jill

Our First NYC Jazzy Hoe!

Okay, here we go! Our very first New York City jazzy hoe. Thanks to Allison for submitting this gem. Make what you will of this pic...

My thoughts are as follows:

1. You rock those flower hoop earrings, girl. You hawt.
2. I love animal print coats, too. yay!
3. The pin on your other jacket, the one you're wearing, is really stylin'.
4. Hooker boots are always good, no matter the occasion. Rock it.
5. Your bag could be a little larger, but otherwise I love it.
6. Your faux glasses are so cute...Claires?!

Thanks again Allison!

Spring Break 2010

Oh hey, ya'll. Sorry it's been, like, a decade since the last post. Since spring break is here, I thought I'd take some time to update this blog. Only problem? I don't have any new jazzy pics to post. WHAT?! What's going on here? I need help.

I need YOUR help!

Send me some jazzy pics, quick! Please e-mail the jazziest hoes you know to my e-mail, jdecker2000@gmail.com

I don't care if I know you or not, send me some crazy jazzy pictures so that this blog can be a little less dull.

Love,

Jazzy Jill

Think she was famous or something? This was captured at the OG in St. George....go figure. I love classy jazzy hoes. Yum.